Broken Doesn’t Mean “Unfixable”

This particular Tuesdays feels like a Monday, and all morning i just keep repeating to myself, “I cannot rush life, I cannot rush life, I cannot rush life” and that is probably because I am so excited about my future and for God’s plans and I don’t want to wait for it. I saw a really cute picture of a sorority sister’s back yard today and her new landscaping project and it made me feel icky because I live in a 1 bedroom apartment with no back yard, or real front yard for that matter. I overthink what others think of me and i’m always looking over my shoulder, worried I won’t work fast enough or be inspiring enough and lose my place in this race of life’s comparisons.
hi, my name is Dayna and i’m a recovering self-imposed, anxious perfectionist. it’s an uphill battle; a battle I learned that I was and will never be alone in through Christ, but a struggle will happen. I struggled today. My anxiety, for example is through the roof I mean I am struggling right now. The perfectionist in me is really the enemy in me and maybe you just need to know you’re not the only one with a messy heart. However, here is where the “but” comes in. The cool thing is that although I’m not fully recovered in any of my multiple struggles, I’m fully redeemed (Romans 5:8). and if you know Jesus, so are you. Happy Tuesday fellow broken one! You are welcomed here.

Most people didn’t even know I had curly hair till about a year ago. I hid that part of me. I never know how to style it and it parts funny so I usually just straighten it, brushed it out, and call it a day. I think we keep a lot of ourselves teased, tamed, and hidden. We hold back the pieces of the story God wrote and write them off as too much or not enough. But I’m really trying to practice what I preach. I recently wrote about the idea of minimalism and I truly believe that involves all avenues you can think of, including your faith and love.  I am desperately trying to be more than 75% me and instead embrace 100% of what God gave me. not because I want people to think of cool and trendy or make a cool tattoo of it, but because freedom isn’t hiding. Freedom is wiping your makeup off or letting your curly poofy hair down. Freedom is letting life be unfiltered. Freedom is trusting Him with every anxious thought in your head and with every off centered and hard to understand fiber of your heart.  I hope you know God sees it and that he still wants it when it looks like this. he wants your heart — not because it’s messy or broken but because it’s His. We can spend hours planning our social media posts, taming our hair, contouring our smiles, styling our stories, and conditioning our lives and STILL fall short. Let’s stop hiding together. You and Me. Together, let’s give every imperfect piece of our lives to God. And He wants all of ya. Every wild piece of ya.

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